I have seen some spectacular beaches in my time. Langkawi, Krabi and now Waikiki. The hotel that we stayed in was just across the beach. The last time The Laney was at Hawaii last year, he described Waikiki as Orchard Road across the beach. This is extremely accurate. The rows of stores, hotels and restaurants were situated just opposite the beach.

For three days in a row, I would get up, slather myself with SPF and fasten on my bikini (I brought three there). The first day, I purchased a mat from the ABC store downstairs the hotel. ABC stores are like 7-11s, they are everywhere and sell everything imaginable, from food and drinks to souvenirs. Including tanned Hello Kittys wearing a flower in her ear instead of her usual red ribbon. With my trusty Oakleys (which are scratched badly after this trip), cowboy hat (squashed in my suitcase), sarong (which tore a little) and lots of water and magazines, I sat in the sun, during the harmful hours from 12 to 3 or 4, determined to be tanned.

The sand is soft and loose. Walking on the sand is a feat, you have to grip your toes in and my way of walking brings a spray of sand behind my feet with each step I take. But the sand is so hot that you do have to wear your slippers. The heated mantle of the sandy ground reminded me of the Archie comics when Archie is hopping from blanket to blanket to soothe the burnt soles of his feet. Fire walking anyone?

The water is crystal clear. Sparkling in the sunlight, like what you see in movies. The waves are Huge. The surfers and body boarders benefiting greatly from the wind. Even I managed to bake properly without getting too impatient due to the intermittent breeze and watching the Bay Watch-que lifeguards. Have you ever seen 8 packs in real life before? Well, now I can say I have. Those boy lifeguards with TV drama worthy bodies made the long flights to Hawaii worth it.

People watching, reading magazines, watching the Hills on my iPod and listening to music, it was a time for contemplation but more of veg-ing out. I did wish I had put my mind to it to ponder about the real things that were running around in my mind but how could I concentrate when I was just trying to contain my amusement at the brown wrinkled Japanese man lying on his blanket wearing only a green tiny speedo thing.