She was about to press on the ‘Send’ button when she paused. What the hell was she doing? What was she expecting from sending this message? With pressure on another key on the mobile phone, she erased the message that she had typed and re-typed for the last few minutes.

She could not do this to herself. Playing the waiting game again. She was the only player in the game. In the quiet hours of the wee morning, she wondered what she was doing. She felt so exposed and was extremely sheepish about letting him into her world. Her mind idly wandered off wondering what he was doing at that moment but with a shake of her head, she willed the thought out of her mind.

Here she was, alone in the favourite time of the day. Early in the bloody morning. She would have to get up in about three hours. Assuming she slept. She wished that he had put up the disclaimer that he was only there for a visit, as a guest and that he would not be staying for long. She wanted to know how long that she had been waiting in vain. She forgot how to spend this time in solitude. She tried to conjure up the tears that she wanted for to flow down her cheeks in tiny rivets of rivers. But she was all dried up. Do you promise to be my friend? Do you promise to never leave and never let everything I tell you wash by like the rain falling down the duck’s back?

She was afraid. She had let him in and he had left. She wanted desperately to take back everything she had shown him, during those hours of the night. Because now it was as if she did not say anything. She was pretending. Her usual hyper little quirk. She could not move away from the fire that she should move away from. She did not know how much more she could take. The mind games of her head. She wondered again when her nights will be alright again. When they would belong to her only again?

If only he would call. If only he never did.