With the purchase of the flat, comes the necessary administrative procedures (also known as getting married). With the marriage, comes the it seems compulosry throwing of an entire she-bang (also known as the wedding). So faced with becoming devoured by the same bug that has claimed many a female, I will hopefully document my fall from grace or my close shave from becoming the bride from Hell.

Do you know how many godamn wedding websites there are on the world wide web? Just like oh many a thousand that are Singapore based. Singaporebrides.com anyone? Looking at the dizzying array of selections that Google so kindly spit out with the simple keyword ‘wedding’, Singaporebrides being the top site. How does Google know that I am a Singaporean girl? (So clever Google is. Sorry Seow!) And faced with all the weddings keywords in the search results, I certainly felt Dizzy.

As Xiu Ru says, Wedding = Gross.

So I decide to help Google out a little (to help me) to narrow down from the millions of ‘wedding’ related websites. So enterprisingly, I typed ‘wedding planning’ in. And with a random click on a random search result (so random I cannot even tell you the name of the website). Though rest assured, it definitely had the word ‘wedding’ in it. Totally.

Apparently people planned their weddings on an average of 12 to 18 months before. Really?!?! Okay. So what were the steps to perform an entire year before the ‘biggest day of their lives’. Only of the girls of course. I would deduce that for the boys, the biggest day of their life was/is something else like the day they lost their virginity? For me, it was the moment I held Bambi in my hands, my first IT bag. So I digress.

Anyway, the very first thing you have to do is to announce your engagement. To who? And how? Via sms or e-mail or a paid website or at your engagement party? (Cue The Laney = clueless about engagement party = never attended one = neither have I but at least I know of them = will never forget until the day I die that I never had one) Well, does Wang shouting to the worker bee girls at Seow’s BBQ last last week that ‘STY is getting married’ as I hugged Peanut (I love Peanut) in my arms, count? Yes, I guess of course, definitely, whatever. Check the first item off. Man this is not very exciting.

So obviously after reading a little (okay, until point 2 or 3), I get bored, so I moved onto more interesting and exciting details like the dresses. Yes. The dresses. Plural. Suddenly all the hassle that throwing this so called wedding has dawned upon me as a big pain in the ass and I just want to get it over and done with.

Awful really wants to know what is wrong with flying to Las Vegas and standing in front of Elvis in the Little White Chapel?