I am an angsty person. I have always been an angsty person. Maybe that explains the little few good friends I do have. When you first meet me, I am all airy fairy sweet good naturedness, which is my true personality in a place not called the real world. Because maybe after you have passed the test of the circle of trust, (which believe me you don’t want to pass at all) you will be enveloped into the inner circle of Awfulness. Where it means I whine unexhaustedly about how crap my life is. I do not get tired because I have stamina (like that queen bitch mother of mine), I had been doing this all my life. I am a typical Singaporean after all.

Every one knows I do not watch movies. Part of the reason is because I get so antsy when the popcorn tub has been emptied. The rest of the real reason is like explained in the last entry, I do not like to escape, no matter how crappy real life is.

For a long time, I have not read any books, except for non-fiction books and cooking expeditions because of the same crap they pile in movies, they pile in books. They make me think about how crap my life is. How come so and so can spend their life pursuing their life goals or their so-called love of their life while I spent my waking hours working? I do not let it rest, especially with descriptions. I remember vivid descriptions so well that to this day, I can recall paragraphs of descriptions in books I read in secondary school.

For an even longer time, I have not written anything. I used to spend time crafting words and words of crap just to conjure of the world that I wished I lived in. As much as I like to use the excuse that ‘I started working’, more of the true explanation is that I have given up on any remote wish to pretend that there is justice in the world, fairy tale love in the world and immortality for all beliefs.

But I will start reading again right now. After being completely disgusted with the TV serial mentioned in the last entry, I think it would be better to fill my recreational time with blogs, non fiction and real world news (and choice TVB dramas). Besides the forever constant flood of foreign magazines that pollute my messy bedroom.

I am a twenty seven year old intern. I will be happy with my lot. Every morning I eat yogurt and fruits and drink lots of water. As I change, I listen to the world’s news on the BBC usually filled with reports of suicide bombers, indiscretions undertaken by the world’s politicians, the latest Obama going ons. I feel worldly, usually thank my stars I am living in Singapore and go on to face the world. As the day wears me down, I reach home to watch some TVB on cable, to update myself on my book marked blogs and then proceed to surf aimlessly on the world wide web filling my head with trash and grandeur dreams of materialism.