The world is awful » Awful Bridezilla

Bah Argh Gah

awful_dollhead — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 14:45:04 +0000

Everyone is bugging me. I offhandedly mentioned that maybe Bali is a good idea for a place to get married and then how she asks me about it every single night.

Sigh.

Haven’t been looking for any dresses too.

Maybe I should just get married at MacDs and wear my PJs.

What a pain this is.

Procrastination

awful_dollhead — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 15:34:47 +0000

The wedding has been postponed until further notice (not this year). Oh well, more time to plan right? Excuses! Muahahahaha!

Sexy Back

awful_dollhead — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:31:51 +0000

A few dresses have been shortlisted under Bah! in my photos directory for the wedding dress. Which incidentally, wedding planning has ceased to a premature coma due to er, lack of interest after er, one day of ‘research’. A few (three to be specific) venues had been e-mailed with requests for replies via e-mail preferred. Replies by e-mail were received very promptly. Action on my hand, has not been so prompt. Anyway, I digress.

How about this dress for the party? It is a wedding dress too. That other wedding dress for the atheist (me) to wear to church (not by choice) will be delved into further another time. It is a glorious party dress. The Camilla and Marc Peony Frock. The lilac is perfection. Who does not love a dress that does not allow for a bra to be worn and requires the use of alot of Hollywood tape (or double sided tape for those in the know). Skinny knife pleats and thigh high. Another dress that will make an exit, the not so delicate cross cross double straps holding up the material, I shall have to spend the entire night with my back facing the party. It is also economical (after the initial pain of forking out seven hundred smackaroos for it) because it can be recycled for other parties. Xiu Ru suggests pairing it with boy friend blazers and leather jackets. ‘Isn’t that your wedding dress?’ ‘Yes, why aren’t you observant.’

Xiu Ru also suggested my hair to be short to everyone at Kino magazine section for the wedding while we were perusing the bridal magazines, flipping each page furiously. Of course my hair is going to be short, boy wild short, the way I like it. (I digress again, I cut my hair short again after the Great Eastern Run on Sunday. It is back to boy short, literally little good boy short. Not my choice of short hair style. No, I am not that kind of boy. I cannot wait to go and get it cut shorter. Wild boy short.)

Just a spot to eat a hamburger

awful_dollhead — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 04:55:53 +0000

Being an unemployee apparently means you have all the time to plan a wedding. And planning a wedding is P.I.T.A (have I mentioned this before? I think I have, and if so, just humour me). P.I.T.A also means Pain In The Ass. Acronyms are so clever.

I like to think of myself as an ace party planner. Kindly refer to Addy’s Old School Party this year. When I have the time and effort and inspiration. (Self Praise never gets old)

Right now, I need a venue. For an al fresco party. Because I do have the rest settled already, I know there is going to be at the area:-

* A popcorn machine that only spits out Salty popcorn (deal with it girlies.)
* A candy floss machine for the girlies who cannot deal with Salty machine and for the effect. (I do not really eat candy floss. It is cotton for god’s sake, it is on your clothes, you would not eat your clothes right?)
* A photo booth machine (god knows where the hell I am going to find this in Singapore)
* Hamburgers (non beef consuming individuals are welcomed to eat Fish O Fillet I guess, are nuggets passe? I prefer Wings.)
* More Cheese Fries than you and I have ever seen in our lives.
* Truly free flowing alcohol hopefully (none of that ‘There is no more wine, can I get you something else’ nonsense that I experienced at the last two dinners.)
* Felt Flowers (I am allergic to chlorophyll — C’s observation.)
* Chloe and Peanut (The dogs)
* A live band that can play ‘Busstop’ by the Hollies.
* A dance floor for you to dance to my favourite 70’s disco hits that a DJ (iPod) will play. (Yes, I do realise the lighted dancefloor ala Saturday Night Fever is not possible)

Xiu Ru pointed out that there is a certain concept called Give and Take. I do understand that particular concept but apparently being a female is my birth right to make a hell load of fuss (read: demands) over the ‘wedding’ and why not exercise that right? I mean so many people have done so, I am just following the line. Heh. Anyway The Laney can organise the Church Wedding (shudder), I ‘give’ him that and my principles. Though I do have decided that if I have to walk down an aisle (like walking the plank), it will be to the tune of ‘The Long and Winding Road’.

I, Bridezilla

awful_dollhead — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 15:07:30 +0000

With the purchase of the flat, comes the necessary administrative procedures (also known as getting married). With the marriage, comes the it seems compulosry throwing of an entire she-bang (also known as the wedding). So faced with becoming devoured by the same bug that has claimed many a female, I will hopefully document my fall from grace or my close shave from becoming the bride from Hell.

Do you know how many godamn wedding websites there are on the world wide web? Just like oh many a thousand that are Singapore based. Singaporebrides.com anyone? Looking at the dizzying array of selections that Google so kindly spit out with the simple keyword ‘wedding’, Singaporebrides being the top site. How does Google know that I am a Singaporean girl? (So clever Google is. Sorry Seow!) And faced with all the weddings keywords in the search results, I certainly felt Dizzy.

As Xiu Ru says, Wedding = Gross.

So I decide to help Google out a little (to help me) to narrow down from the millions of ‘wedding’ related websites. So enterprisingly, I typed ‘wedding planning’ in. And with a random click on a random search result (so random I cannot even tell you the name of the website). Though rest assured, it definitely had the word ‘wedding’ in it. Totally.

Apparently people planned their weddings on an average of 12 to 18 months before. Really?!?! Okay. So what were the steps to perform an entire year before the ‘biggest day of their lives’. Only of the girls of course. I would deduce that for the boys, the biggest day of their life was/is something else like the day they lost their virginity? For me, it was the moment I held Bambi in my hands, my first IT bag. So I digress.

Anyway, the very first thing you have to do is to announce your engagement. To who? And how? Via sms or e-mail or a paid website or at your engagement party? (Cue The Laney = clueless about engagement party = never attended one = neither have I but at least I know of them = will never forget until the day I die that I never had one) Well, does Wang shouting to the worker bee girls at Seow’s BBQ last last week that ‘STY is getting married’ as I hugged Peanut (I love Peanut) in my arms, count? Yes, I guess of course, definitely, whatever. Check the first item off. Man this is not very exciting.

So obviously after reading a little (okay, until point 2 or 3), I get bored, so I moved onto more interesting and exciting details like the dresses. Yes. The dresses. Plural. Suddenly all the hassle that throwing this so called wedding has dawned upon me as a big pain in the ass and I just want to get it over and done with.

Awful really wants to know what is wrong with flying to Las Vegas and standing in front of Elvis in the Little White Chapel?