Everytime I need to distract myself, I start to watch teevee and read fan fiction. Yes it’s very sick. Enveloping myself in a world that doesn’t exist. When all I need is actually sleep. But I escape into that world in which I believe that everything happens the way my mind wants it to. Pretty actors and actresses just come into play where they are my puppets.

The Laney asks why I don’t write my own fan fiction. No one to judge me, no one to tell me where I went wrong, no googling to find out how makeup causes rough skin. I could think of the most complicated plots in which the atypical happens, the things I want to happen in real life can unfold if I am just willing to type furiously.

On another note, it has finally ended. For those in the know, I believe that this is the very last time that I will mention him here and hopefully in my life. All along, I believed that karma exists and payback is sweet. But this had proved to be untrue. As the memories attempt to get washed out from my head, I know something. I will never forget the lessons that I learnt and the lies that I was fed. I lived with a facade for so many years to this day, I don’t know what was the truth. I will never find out. I will live with the hatred though it is just a waste of energy but this is my cross to bear. I was a fool. A fool to ever wonder about him.

There’s always a first. But many girls together, it’s an experiment.

The last time I had makeup on was when I just turned 18. Just thought you guys should know. Btw, Eric you rock! Loves.

Last night, I almost met that evil no good man that I will hate for the rest of my life. Not that there was any chance of actually meeting him because I know that he was going to be there and I just didn’t go anywhere like within the 5 km radius of that place. Simple. Xiu Ru asked what I would do if I saw him. Of course I would stab him with the plastic spoon that I was holding then and curse him to wherever he deserved. Xiu Ru said that I should just act normal and smile and whatever. Of course I would that if I ever saw him in real life. Actually knowing him, he would avoid me because that’s what he does. If I know anything about him, I know he is an escapist. I would like to feign amnesia so it’s as if he’s not important enough for me to even recall his existence. But alas, the forgetting your past shit only happens in movies and TV dramas.

That being said, after ranting for a night or two, I realise I have let it out of my system (for the time being). But god forbid he enters any part of my orbit. He wasn’t even worth a single second of my life.

* This is the first time I am blogging from my new desk.
* I really want to have an engagement party too! [Can't remember when I got 'engaged', the year that is, (tries to look sheepish)] Ok, I just want to have a Party, any excuse is good.
* Is really tired and needs sleep in the day but forgets it in the night when shamelessly reading Fan Fiction that teenagers who have alot of time write.
* Dit just killed a cockroach with her bare hands with just 2 layers of tissue for protection.

Cups took picture with Godfrey Gao. Plus pictures of Mark Zhao and Godfrey Gao.

Cuppy I am super duper freaking godamn jealous lah!

Of all places to see her again, we bumped into each other in Butter’s toilet. I was at the sinks just waiting for Xin bebe and suddenly I felt eyes on me. The queue waiting to use to toilet was long and snaked along the wall. I was wearing socks with my new wedges so I thought it was the usual disapproval from other females about my choice of footwear and hosiery. For some reason, she looked familiar, then I realised who she was exactly.

She smiled. For a minute, I wonder what to do. But I decided to be a bigger person, after all, it has been 9 years and I am more mature. Or should be more mature because I am still older than her. So I walked towards her

She said she met up with Mas occasionally. I knew that but just nodded along. She said she heard that I was doing well. I explained that I just changed my job. But she said she meant my temper. I had to bite my tongue. I lost my temper all the time back then only because of her. But I just smiled. She said that she heard from Mas that someone was courting me, plenty of boys. I just looked at her and wondered why things were this way, she said I could get my contact from Mas for anything, I didn’t bother to get her number. Luckily my phone was with Xin bebe. I tried to make small talk about how hot it was inside Butter. When it finally got to the point when I had to go, I just grabbed her shoulder. I couldn’t bring myself to hug her.

I can’t remember what we used to talk about. I can’t remember how it was like, when we were on good terms and when things soured. But I know that after nine years, the hurt is still there.

Sweets for my sweet! Wish I was in Sydney with the one and only darling Dominikki for her engagement party.

When work requires you to hit the beach on a weekend, the line between work and play blurs. It seems rather surreal when you watch people you have interviewed on TeeVee. They seemed like ordinary Human Beings then. I guess I am still ’starstruck’.

Butter was on Friday night for BB’s birthday, though the birthday girl was missing at Zouk for half of the night. As it is, I always come up with conclusion that I am really getting too old to club. But Xiu Ru on the other hand, always comes up tops and leaves bubbling and insisting that the night was fun. Well, I guess leaving the club when the lights switch on does signal a successful night. The fun part of the night was revealing our actual ages to little boys. It was a hell of a laugh.

One and a half Flamings plus others and we are still standing.

Those are in my opinion, the most perfect pair of pants one could wear. Note to self: find the perfect pair of straight pants and roll them up, how hard can it be?