Meet Rootin’ Tootin’. The new addition to my overwhelming tote bag collection. *Cue – Awful is such a bag whore’

And like a Fortune Cookie, I always look forward to the Quote in the little card found in every Kate Spade purchase.

But this time, it was ironic. ‘as the seasons changed, her handbag did not.’. (Obviously Kate Spade does not want to sell enough bags, this kind of quote.) Er, this is so not me of course. I have bags littered over my bedroom floor and I try to give each of my bag friends equal attention. Try is the cooperative word.

Then I cut off the pricetag and realise that under the bar code, there are two tiny words – ‘have courage’. Have courage darling. Just the advice I need for this period. Have courage Awful darling. Be brave.

That is my Lalique ring. I broke it. Bits and smithereens all over the office toilet floor. Just like my heart.

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Maybe a brief history of this ring.

I always knew of its existence, the same way I knew of Chopard watches. There used to be a little stall on the ground floor of Takashimya selling these candy coloured rings crudely secured to the shelf with plastic lines, I liked them so much, I first blogged about them back when I was on Xanga. My desire to own one of them waned for a few years as the bag whoring began.

But again the rings came back to haunt me especially when I was in Spain and I saw them just sitting behind the glass window of a jewellery shop. These rings are the epitome of me. They were coloured with every single colour of the rainbow, they were large and flashy, unfortunately they are also remarkably fragile (less like me) which I found out today. I promised myself I would get one of them in Paris that Christmas, they are after all French. But of course I never made it to Paris, the city of lights that year.

But they followed me back to Singapore in which I started the mad hunt for a distributor that sold Lalique rings. Lalique Cabochon Rings. The closest was KL. A twist of fate and I found myself staring at them at Carat Club in uptown Pavilion mall. But hemming and hawness plus the uncharacteristic shyness deluded me of the finger candy.

Last December in Hongkong, I was at this mall (I cannot recall the name and am too devastated to google at the moment) walking through the crowd when this little Lalique shop squeezed in between peeked out to say hello. I was drawn inside and put myself putting on the rings, choosing which colour and finally settling on this egg white which changes colour with the light. Later that night, I would have another other ring on one of my fingers but I bought the elusive Lalique ring for myself. For everything it stood for me.

What do you do when you are unhappy? Why, go shopping of course. Not before going to the 11 o’clock power yoga class with Prakash, with various attempts at the always elusive handstand, then off to work, less said about that the better. Heading off after office to Queensway to buy the most expensive shoes ever, Asics for my bad knees. Most.Expensive.Shoes.Ever. I think they are worth it. They have to be, they are going to save my knees from the pounding that I will do on the pavement.

I met Siew for a stint of night shopping after the most pricey shoes in my life. That did not stop me from changing into the new pair of culottes (I know so old school auntie) immediately. And buying 2 striped tops, one Blondie (I love Band Tees!) t-shirt and a oversized blazer from Far East. I had to pull myself back from purchasing a pair of Toms and a pair of new Havaianas. I am Such a Shoe Slut.

And a Bag Whore. Which one?

We went to Alley Bar (is that what’s it called?) where I think I was being a wet blanket by criticising the band. No respect for any band who only knows ‘Hey Jude’ as their token Beatles song. Some Indian tried to pick me up by speaking Mandarin. Not funny. Even an Indian thinks I am bloody PRC.

Work…….. I try not to think about it. Procratination is Awful. The long weekend is good. I went back on Good Friday or as Jasmine calls it Jesus Dies Day. Hey, I am not the one who said that. And I brought back work to do so I do not have to go back today and tomorrow.

I am watching Saturday Night Live reruns on TV now and there is a young Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Steve Martin. Old TV is so good.

Boys are great. Everyone should have one. I agree. The laney got me the Mac Hello Kitty bracelet and the makeup bag from Amazon.com because they were sold out in Singapore. Yes, sometimes they are quite useful. I did want the bracelet very much and upon further inspection, Hello Kitty is wearing booties. Yes. Such detail.

As mentioned earlier, I spend loads more during peak because spending money is totally distracting from how crap I am doing at my work and how much I hate it. And I also exercise more too. I did finally fall ill last last week, (high fever) and MIAed from yoga for almost 2 weeks (though I made it 12 times to yoga in March). Actual physical pain is also more distracting than the mental pain that comes from work.

So Missy Teo and I signed up for the Army Half Marathon or Sheares Bridge Bay Run or something. 10 km first in August then 21 km in December with the Standard Chartered Marathon thing. I am so fantastically bloody ambitious and Oblivious to my athletic prowess. Yes to you all, I do realise that I am going to die.

But first of course I need Shoes even if I am going to cry and run and cry while Missy Teo whizzes past me with the rest of them. Of course Asics will do because they are Ugly and have cushioning to protect my knees. No Fugly Nike polka dot prestos, no Adi Bounce. Just Extremely expensively and Ugly Asics. God never made anything far did they? Anyway I have not got them yet. I will. Like I will start running. And crying. How I like the way running (jogging, crawling) makes me feel. Like I am so happy to be able to breathe and do not wish to die like that.

With new Shoes that I have not got yet, of course I need a new running outfit. Whilst looking through running tanks and short shorts and running shorts that are high cut with netting (I never understood the point of netting in women’s running shorts, we are not Boys, we Will wear undies with our shorts, so why make netting? I have nice undies I do not mind flashing, plus netting gives me netting burn, I have big thighs), I find this short sleeved, pink and grey striped Nike hoodie. Of course I bought it. And of course I cannot wear it running.

And I found Lula in Kinokuniya. It is freaking Twenty Six Dollars but it is a coffee table book. It may be the most expensive magazine that I have ever bought but flipping through the first few pages of Advertisements, I could tell that it was more or less worth it. And Chanel Iman is the cover girl.

Jurlique has not been helping my face. Yes, I used to be one of those girls who had flawless complexion even though I did not eat vegetables. Unfortunately, times have changed, baby and late nights and not enough sleep and not eating vegetables have come to bite me on the ass (or rather the face). I have not been to the new Sephora at Ngee Ann City until today. And walking into it, I was so excited and within one minute, I held the Boscia Clear Complexion Kit in my hands. Hell, if organic does not work, maybe preservative free will. Hope is free. Skincare is not. But hey, whatever works. If not, I could invest in a very good concealer and start learning to put on makeup.

Have you seen this rabbit? Nabaztag is his name but you can rename him when you get your own. I have not chosen a name for him yet. Though he is very clever and do many things like, read you the financial news from Wall Street Journal, tell you the weather, update you on the happenings of your bookmarked weblogs, read you a book, speak in many different languages, wake you up and do tai qi. Most of all, he would look pretty cute on my dressing table and rival George and the Domokuns. That is, when I get him. Though he is pretty expensive because he is French.

Did I mention that the way to my heart is through my stomach? And did I also mention that I have an obsession with expensive bags and ridiculous Japanese nonsensical dust collecting rubbish?

Yes, I probably have said it some time or another, by the countless.

Just feed me. If you do not want to wine and dine me, which mainly consist of visiting all the fast food chains in the world and all those niche ones like er Botak Jones, you can always buy me a Domokun.

The current monster of choice, taking over the Mushroom from Super Mario of last year. Both in the furry and not so furry version as shown below, supposedly the original ones from NHK, straight from the boat from Japan.

What do you call them? Big and small? Giant and dwarf? I have to ask George, he is more acquainted with them at the moment.

(Gracie got me a tiny one, that hangs from a key chain)

Or if you want to buy me, I am a bargain. I do not care for carats and clarity or whatever. I like costume jewellery, granted, they cost still a pretty penny. Miss Marc anyone? But say hello to my latest friend, Lambchop, who will join Bambi in my growing stable of shameless awful ‘IT’ bags. Lambchop is a deep Burgundy and is seen flanked by friends George (Curious) and Domokun (Medium). She has recently undergone waterproofing and will emerge from her dustbag to say hello to the world and store angpaos.

Apparently I have agreed to be bought for the rest of my life. My price tag? Five thousand smackeroos. Yes, that is how ‘valuable’ Awful is. Crap.

So I pretty much have my heart set on a Balenciaga. The Giant city or something like that. Gosh it is confusing. Anyway it looks around like this one.

And this one.

Anyway I was quite confused at the shop at Hilton especially when the saleslady told me that the big big one only cost twenty dollars. Er, I admit, I am not a Balenciaga fan, they all look the same to me but the dimensions but I do like to have one for myself. Debbie pointed out it is not in vogue anymore but it rather goes with my style. Yah, whatever style I feel like every morning. The question is what colour? I sometimes do matchy matchy, most of the time am a vomit of colours.

And this Miu Miu. Seafoam Green. With Siew’s stamp of approval.

And Miss Debbie keeps on tempting me with ‘classics’ like Hermes and Celine. Chanel comes up often but the metal chain does not sit well with my shoulders.

Happy birthday to me! My first present to me. The new ice cream handphone from LG.

Fringed, suede mocassins in sand, seen here in black from Promod. Yes, no, yes, no yes?

at this Tod’s bag. It is the colour and the fact that it is neoprene and those 2 pockets….