Sweets for my sweet! Wish I was in Sydney with the one and only darling Dominikki for her engagement party.

I need to know why girls find emotional, brooding, dark guys so attractive?

I am drowning here. The dam opened and the floodwaters poured out last Friday. What is wrong with me? I will survive. Even if it means going to work early and leaving late. Even if it means working at home after my shower instead of indulging in ridiculous time wasters. Even if it means feeling stupid because I took more than an hour to do something that my predecessor did in ten minutes. I cannot give up, not after I have come such a long way. The way ahead is a long and rough one but so is the way back to where I started from.

Indian tennis player marries a Pakistan cricket player. This is called a peace treaty.

When work requires you to hit the beach on a weekend, the line between work and play blurs. It seems rather surreal when you watch people you have interviewed on TeeVee. They seemed like ordinary Human Beings then. I guess I am still ’starstruck’.

Butter was on Friday night for BB’s birthday, though the birthday girl was missing at Zouk for half of the night. As it is, I always come up with conclusion that I am really getting too old to club. But Xiu Ru on the other hand, always comes up tops and leaves bubbling and insisting that the night was fun. Well, I guess leaving the club when the lights switch on does signal a successful night. The fun part of the night was revealing our actual ages to little boys. It was a hell of a laugh.

One and a half Flamings plus others and we are still standing.

Third day of my new job. Little things I have learn is that no double spacing after Full Stops. How to get used to not double spacing after Full Stops, single spacing was only used after commas? But like the other tough stuff that I have to get used to, I have to get used to little new things like this. Blogging now is abit tough now that I have to literally pull articles out of my ass. Dear Pam was correct, there is only so many words you can use to describe lipstick.

*Sidetrack: I have to start using makeup, I have no bloody idea how to write about how to use eyeshadow, etc. and of course, adjectives.

J Crew always has good outfit ideas. Laidback preppy chic (sounds familiar Jackie?) In my imaginary world, I look like that, lithe and floaty, without a care in the world, with the easy capability to carry off ribbed socks with sandals without looking like a deranged Japanese housewife wanna-be.

In an alternate universe, I look like this. The only reason why I want a Leica camera is to tote it around in the adorable little leather case, strapped across my body. I could wear layers without the fear of armpit stains. I would be captured by street photographers.

In this world, I can’t wear coloured tops with sleeves. My face is oily before noon. My thighs are not flattering. I am turning 28 this year and my tummy is not longer as flat as it used to be. I work almost twelve hour days, but without result. I ask silly questions and write even sillier crap that I have to redo time after time. I would lose patience with myself too. But somehow, I doggedly try. As long as I try my best, I will survive. Right?

Sometimes I wonder whether if I found the dress that was almost perfect and I wore it everyday, would it seem like I never bathe and wash my clothes?

How about like this girl in The Uniform Project?

From the website:

‘The Idea: Starting May 2009, I have pledged to wear one dress for one year as an exercise in sustainable fashion. Here’s how it works: There are 7 identical dresses, one for each day of the week. Every day I will reinvent the dress with layers, accessories and all kinds of accouterments, the majority of which will be vintage, hand-made, or hand-me-down goodies. Think of it as wearing a daily uniform with enough creative license to make it look like I just crawled out of the Marquis de Sade’s boudoir.’

Gem of Life ended. The entire series is 82 episodes and you would think that after building it up for eighty freaking hours the ending would Rock Your World. (I stopped watching properly after Miss Linda Chung arrived on the corner, even darling Bosco could not keep my concentration). The ending did not even rock the small pebble at the edge of the river where the waves crash in. Random scene of the Kang family sisters arriving home to hug their mother. I haven’t lost my auntie TVB obsession but kids, please do better!

Managed to lose my advance booking privileges for yoga this week. How about my good attendance all this time for 2 years? Yoga shouldn’t make me sad.

Awful Procrastination. I have to do work Now.

I want to do a story about emotional eating. I will write about myself.

This morning I fucked up big time. In a bid of nervousness and uncertainty, I must have pissed off at least 2 people. As the saying goes, karma will always come and bite you back in the ass. Maybe my treatment of a certain Stephanie (Poptart!) has resulted in all this crappiness. Do unto others what you want others to do unto you.

I am not coping well in this new beginning. Maybe with the departure of youthful foolishness, I feel that every single thing I do that is not up to par will have very serious consequences.

Today is my first day of work. I never have been so relieved to receive my own worker bee pass. Now I can go to the toilet after 1800 hours. I should have many things to say. But now all I need to do is sleep. The road ahead is long and winding and treacherous. But I jumped through hoops for it. I never managed to get something that I worked so hard for (baiting boys do not count and my attempts always failed anyway). Now I am afraid to fail in this.

Tomorrow marks my last day as Fashion Intern. Though for the past week or two, I have been doing 2 jobs and unpaid. Did I mention my new boss is a doll? She is a vulgarity sprouting doll. But I like. Another person to Fling Fucks with. Apparently Xiu Ru and I only trade fucks with each other. Indeed the world is a civilised place. But no! Poptart too, one less person that is a lady.

The road ahead is hard. As Karen Carpenter sang, ‘We only just begun, to live. White lace and promises, a kiss for luck and we’ll on our way..’. All typed out from memory. Everyone plays this song at their wedding. But this is apt for the beginning of my new ‘career’. Except no white lace but hard hard work. The learning curve is a 90 degree straight learning vertical curve. When they throw you in, you trap (lazy to find whether correct spelling) water. When the waves go above you, you smile and hold your breath. Hopefully you can stay afloat. If not, the other option is drowning. But honey, drowning is a horrible way to go.

There is a probation. I have never been under probation. Maybe they will find out I am an imposter and toss me out after three months.

The madness continues. Her Royal Highness decreed I iron my T-shirts today. As I wondered whether I should invest in a steamer (easier since I have been trained by work) to ‘iron’ my clothes, I cannot wait for the day when my T-shirts can just be not ironed. Though of course Debbie Harry looks much better ironed flat, I will try to live with abit of a crumpled flair.

I have a crick in my neck. Massive migrane. Tension headache some people (The Laney) calls it. I started watching another Ella show with Wu Chun and Jiro Wang. Ella rocks. I think I am going through proper teeny boppy puberty right now.